Monday

Under Stating the Overly Obvious

"Dog fighting is a bad thing"~Michael Vick

T.v. has been letting me down. I thought t.v. liked me liked me. Lately, I have been feeling cheap and used. And not in a sexy, role-play way.

I normally don't watch t.v. in the morning, but I was desperate to get the visuals from last night's 'Man Whore with STD' episode of Dr. 90210 out of my head. I should've stuck with the man whore. There I am drinking coffee watching Michael Vick give the lamest apology ever. Dog fighting is bad? Seriously, that is what your publicist and manager have helped you come up with? That is not going to stop Peta members from making you their prison bitch for the next 1-5 years. News flash, the following are also bad: genocide, floods, and super low-rise jeans that don't hide your muffin top.

Luckily the universe is about balance. On the plus side of things: pina coladas, making love at midnight, and whiskers on kittens. Let's hear it for the kittens for keeping order in the world!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

OK, I can't chat long. My wife is telling me to come eat dinner somewhere appropriate. I think reading your hysterical blog is a great place to eat dinner, but she thinks I'm a super-jerk. So. I'll just say, "You crack me the f(*k up". Thanks.

Anonymous said...

lol - Super low riding jeans have been at the top of my bad list for awhile and make me want to screem at people....I don't want to see that on you.

Great bog.

Anonymous said...

Wait...I'm NOT supposed to share my muffin top? The tops are the best part. So says Seinfeld, anyway.

What to do with all of those jeans from Forever 21?

Crap.

Are tramp stamps cool? My collection of g-strings would frame one nicely, as they go about half way up my back. SexAY!

Whatever, I am TOTALLY unprepared for the dog fights now... what to wear?