Shhh. Shhh. It's okay. I know, I know. I've missed you too. I am sure you have made good use of our time apart. I imagine you have used your free time to memorize my previous postings and recite them, drunkedly, at parties. I bet you have found the time to finally sort through the underwear drawer, to wash your pets, braid your hair, and learn conversational Russian. I have also been very, very busy. With what? Catching up on back issues of The Economist? Building dioramas of past bad dates? Don't be silly; I've been watching non stop trash t.v. Pop culture is still culture people. Recognize.
I am even sadder than you are about the writer's strike. Luckily, I have awful taste in television shows; the shit I watch writes itself. So with Project Runway ramping up, and America's Next Top Model barely holding my attention when sober, I've been almost overwhelmed. Still, I have managed to take in the occasional episode of I Love New York 2: Return of the Man-Ho. Thanks to that Steven Covey workshop, I know how to make time for what really matters. I managed to almost avoid Tila Tequila, but the cat fights keep drawing me in. And this week Tila takes her slurred speech, barely dressed, trampy self to meet the parents of these people? That is what I call focusing on the family. I hope by starting to watch the show, I can answer that age old question: Does a slutty bisexual really have twice as many choices for a date on Friday night? Or just twice as many chances for vd?
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