Nothing puts the fear in me like picture day.
This goes way back. Kindergarten. I get the worst case of chicken pox ever recorded. I am out of school for ever. The day I come back? Picture day. Now most parents read the mail that the schools send home. Not my momma. I show up to class, still scratching, wearing overalls, and find out it is picture day. It is important to know that I was not a big fan of the overalls. I would cry and mope whenever my mother dressed me in something that I thought looked like 'boy clothes'. The overalls were, hands down, the worst of it. Kittens, when I say I was born femme, I mean BORN femme. It's picture day. I'm in overalls. I am barely un-chicken poxy. You can see the misery in the picture. It's palpable.
Things today, not much better. I just started working at the HR Farm. And I love the HR Farm. But, sometimes they push me. I get to work; No warning. I get an email saying they are going to take my picture today.
This goes way back. Kindergarten. I get the worst case of chicken pox ever recorded. I am out of school for ever. The day I come back? Picture day. Now most parents read the mail that the schools send home. Not my momma. I show up to class, still scratching, wearing overalls, and find out it is picture day. It is important to know that I was not a big fan of the overalls. I would cry and mope whenever my mother dressed me in something that I thought looked like 'boy clothes'. The overalls were, hands down, the worst of it. Kittens, when I say I was born femme, I mean BORN femme. It's picture day. I'm in overalls. I am barely un-chicken poxy. You can see the misery in the picture. It's palpable.
Things today, not much better. I just started working at the HR Farm. And I love the HR Farm. But, sometimes they push me. I get to work; No warning. I get an email saying they are going to take my picture today.
Surely, now that I am grown-up-ish, picture day should not be as bad. No. Not true. You should know what I'm wearing. I'm wearing a light blue and orange top that frankly looks like a smock. Remember in grade school when you wore the arts-n-crafts apron so you wouldn't get your clothes dirty when you finger-painted? It looks like that. All my outfits can't be winners. So, I'm in an apron, with a messy (not on purpose messy, but due to me being lazy messy) ponytail. And they insist on taking my picture. They will not be talked out of it.
I pretend to finger comb my hair; I put on lip balm and then snap. Picture taken. I don't know how bad it looks. Normally, I would get picky, insist on seeing it, reshoot if needed. Not this time. I mean, how good could it get? The only solution is to figure out a way to replace the photo with my Glamour Shots from the mall.
2 comments:
If anyone could pull off the smock look, and truly make it look like the next runway wear, it's you. Maybe I'll go thrifting for table cloths, and we can make a smock for every day of the week. I am guessing you already have days of the week underwear...
Me, I would have loved overalls in Kindergarten. It would have been an improvement.
Please post the chicken poxy school picture! That's not schadenfreude on my part, it's compassion! With maybe a little hilarity!
In my sister's immortal words, "I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing near you."
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